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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905718">This crush is killing me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Predictablekid/pseuds/Predictablekid'>Predictablekid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Ellie is a dumb gay for Dina, Ellie's years through high school, F/F, First Kiss, first ever thing i've ever written and english is not my first language, not sure what else to say</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 01:56:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Predictablekid/pseuds/Predictablekid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellie is going through high school, navigating her feelings for her new friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Jesse (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is the first thing I have ever written. EVERRR. No idea what I'm doing but this couple kills me and I could not stop myself from writing, but seriously I'm not a writer ya'll. Like C average essays over here. This is mostly for me to have an outlet since I have no one to talk about this ship with. English isn't my first language so there may be a lot of errors. Let me know if this is worth continuing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>August 2017<br/> Ellie had just started her freshman year at Jackson High School. She was lost looking for her first class. The halls where already empty, all students having found their classrooms successfully. She was about to give up with the search; thinking fuck it maybe she should skip the first day all together. </p><p>While she was giving one last look at the school map, ready to throw in the towel she had heard someone trying to get her attention.</p><p>“Hey, are you lost kid?”</p><p>Ellie looked up and saw the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. She was roughly the same height as herself, with tan skin, thick dark wavy hair, deep chocolate eyes, and her face was adorned with freckles all over. She seemed friendly enough, but her beauty had made it difficult for Ellie to answer.</p><p> Regaining her composure she finally said “Umm no, and don’t call me that, I’m not a kid” Ellie tried her best to sound confident.</p><p>The girl in front of her just smirked and said “Sure, do you know where you’re going fresh meat? I’m a sophomore so I can walk you to where you’re class is if you want?”</p><p>Ellie decided against declining her offer. She thought maybe it was a sign that a beautiful girl was offering to walk her to class on the first day. It now felt better than the alternative of missing her first day. She could already imagine Joel’s disappointed voice telling her that school was important blah blah blah.</p><p>“Ok, thank you. I have history with…. Mr. Smith?” Ellie said after looking at her schedule.</p><p>“Oof, History this early and on a Monday? That’s gonna be rough freckles”. Ellie blushed at the new nickname. </p><p>They both made their way towards the front of the school where the History classes were taught. “My name is Ellie.” She said, hoping that if she gave her name, this new girl would stop calling her random stuff.</p><p>The girl just gave her a bright smile and extended her hand out “I’m Dina, nice to meet you” Ellie grabbed her hand in a handshake. It was a little awkward since they were still walking side by side. Ellie noticed that Dina did not make a move to let go of her hand. A blush spread to her face, and she tried looking the other way so that Dina wouldn’t notice it. She pulled her hand a little stronger this time removing her hand from the dark haired girl’s grasp.</p><p>“Well here you are, this is your class” Dina said standing in front of the already closed classroom. Dina made no move to walk away and Ellie didn’t know what else to say.</p><p>With a nod and a quick thank you she opened the door and went inside her class. Leaving Dina to just smile and walk to her own class late.</p><p>Ellie thought that maybe this new school wasn’t going to be so bad.</p><p> </p><p>After History and another boring class, it was time for Ellie’s favorite part of the day: Lunch. Well Ellie’s favorite part of any day was any time where food was involved. She made her way to the cafeteria which was not difficult to find since all she had to do was follow the hordes of students all walking to the same destination. </p><p>The cafeteria was big, with many long tables lined up on the sides and a few big round tables in the middle. She got in line to get a burrito and once she had her food in a platter she noticed all the tables had already been quickly filled. Ellie felt out of place, not knowing anyone at this new school, she had no friends she could sit with. </p><p>Ellie knew that if she didn’t decided where to sit soon, she would stand out. She didn’t want to be the weird loner just standing there. She slowly made her way through different tables, hoping to find an empty end of a table but no luck. Before she could figure out her next move she spotted Dina waving energetically at her from across the cafeteria. Ellie felt another blush take over her face, not knowing what to do. She wasn’t expecting the beautiful girl to acknowledge or even remember her if she was being honest. She awkwardly tried to wave back but found she couldn’t do it while holding her tray with both hands.</p><p>Dina was with two other friends, Sophomores Ellie guessed. She saw the girl mention something to her friends and she started to make her way towards Ellie.</p><p>Ellie did not know what to do, was Dina coming over to say hi? Why? She was just an unknown freshman. Maybe she thought she was lost again and was coming over to offer her help? She probably thinks I’m so stupid not even knowing where to sit. </p><p>“Freckles, hi, how’s your first day treating ya?” Ellie thought that maybe Dina forgotten her name already and was calling her freckles just to cover up the fact. </p><p>“Hi…” Ellie said in small voice. Forgetting to answer Dina’s question about classes while, getting lost in Dina’s beautiful smile.</p><p>Dina didn’t seem to mind the lack of answer, instead asking her a different question. “Do you want to seat with me? A bunch of us seat outside by the music hall, it’s less crowded”</p><p>“Umm sure that would be cool” Ellie wasn’t sure what else to say, so she started following Dina back to her group of friends which were already making their way out of the cafeteria. </p><p>Nothing else was being said between the two girls and Ellie worried that her lack of speaking would make the girl change her mind about letting Ellie sit with her. Who would want to sit with someone that doesn’t know how to talk properly? I’m sure this will be the first and last time she offers me any help.</p><p>Ellie looked over at Dina and noticed that the girl just had a content smile, maybe she was just that nice to new students.<br/>They approached a round concrete table and Ellie was ready for the blush she was sure would appear if Dina introduced her as freckles.</p><p>“Hey guys, this is Ellie, she’s pretty cool and a freshman.” Ellie was surprised that Dina remembered her name. Then why does she keep calling me different nicknames? </p><p>“Ellie this is Jesse” Dina pointed at a handsome Asian guy.</p><p>“The coolest guy you’ll ever know” he said giving her an easy smile and a nod.</p><p> “This is Cat” Dina pointed at pretty girl with a short bob. Ellie noticed that her arms where full of intricate drawings.</p><p>“Hi Ellie” Cat said with sly smile, putting her hand out for Ellie to shake. Ellie quickly put her tray down so she wouldn’t let the girl hanging. After shaking her hand she noticed that this girl wasn’t letting go, reminding her of how Dina was when they first shook hands. Huh maybe it is something that everyone does at this school. Ellie pulled her hand away, but the smile on the other girls face didn’t go away.</p><p>“She’s a shy one” Cat said while looking over Ellie with interested eyes.</p><p>“Leave her alone cat, it’s her first day let’s not scare her off” Dina said while keeping serious eye contact with Cat who eventually rolled her eyes and picked at her food. </p><p>“Sit next to me Ellie” Dina said patting the spot to her right. Ellie did as was told setting her tray down. She didn’t know what to say. What is there to talk about when you are a new freshman at an unknown school? She didn’t know anybody and her class had given her nothing to talk about. She looked down at her tray and hoped lunch would pass quick enough where she could escape the awkwardness.</p><p>“So spill how was everyone’s summer?” Cat asked her two friends.  Ellie decided to drown out Jesse’s answer feeling out of place. Ellie had always been mostly alone, having only one friend, Riley, on her previous school. It was easier for her to blend into the background, enjoy the quiet solitude of the library. She wondered why she didn’t spend her lunch there instead of here, surrounded by strangers. She made a plan starting tomorrow that she would go there for lunch.</p><p>Suddenly she felt a small hand on her left knee, when she looked down she noticed it was Dina’s hand. She looked up at the girl who was looking back at her. Dina leaned over a little to whisper into her ear “is everything ok?” Ellie felt her ear turn red just by hearing the whisper. She didn’t know why her body decided that anything to do with this new girl meant that she would turn red. How easy would her body betray her.</p><p>“Yes, sorry. I’m more of a listener.” Ellie thought that response would give her the excuse to not speak as much to this new group of people.</p><p>“Oh, that’s ok.” Dina said with a warm smile. She gave Ellie a quick squeeze to her knee, and moved her hand away. Almost instantly Ellie missed the comforting contact. She decided that if Dina was nice enough to invite her over for lunch the least she could do is listen to what they had to say even if there wasn’t much she was going to contribute.</p><p>Before she knew it, the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. She gathered her now empty tray and her backpack. She waked over to the nearest trash can to toss her scraps, and leave the tray in the plastic container, ready to go her own way. </p><p>“He freckles” Ellie turned around, to find Dina a next to her. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to say much, once you get us talking it is difficult to put a word in” The beautiful girls said apologetically. </p><p>“It’s ok, I didn’t have much to say anyways” Ellie said</p><p>“Well you should hang out with us again, maybe we can get you to talk or are you too mysterious for us?” Dina said with smirk.</p><p>Ellie smiled at that, glad that her silence hadn’t put off Dina “Sure that would be nice.” Library lunch be damned if it meant that she would get to keep talking to this beautiful girl.</p><p>“Here give me your number, it will be easier to talk if you prefer conversations through text instead of out loud” Dina handed over her phone to Ellie so she could input her number. Ellie did so and handed the phone back. </p><p>Again Ellie felt dumb that she couldn’t come up with anything to say to the dark haired girl. She tried to at least say something before going to class. What does one say when they have been nicely invited to lunch. Ellie thought as quickly as she could and said the first thing that came to mind</p><p>“Thanks for having me.”  Did I really just fucking say that?? Ellie felt even more stupid with her awkward response.</p><p>Dina on the other hand thought it was endearing in a way. She decided to go along to not make the girl feel bad “Thanks for letting me have you” she said with smirk. The answer made Ellie blush so hard that she had to briskly walk away before it was noticed. Stupid, stupid, stupid.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie could not stop thinking about the beautiful girl, with the beautiful hair and the beautiful smile for the rest of the day. She felt like she was in a daze going from class to class just thinking about her smiles, the close whisper, and her hand on her knee.</p><p>At the end of the day, while Ellie lay in bed she could not remove the permanent smile plastered on her face.  She couldn’t wait to wake up tomorrow and bear the boringness of school just to have a chance to talk to Dina again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow writing is a lot more difficult than I thought, how do you guys do this??</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellie awoke the next day with renewed energy. Never before had she felt any sort of positive feelings towards going to school, but today felt different after the events of yesterday. She still could not believe her luck of meeting such a nice person as Dina, she had offered her help and even wanted Ellie to join her during lunch on her first day. Making friends or even socializing with new people never came that easy to Ellie. Today she hoped to see Dina and maybe get to know her a little more.</p><p> </p><p>Even though they had lunch together, Ellie hadn’t spoken much opting to just listen what the new people had to say. She had felt like a third wheel, or technically a fourth wheel, if that was even a thing.</p><p> </p><p>After quickly getting dressed, she unplugged her phone from the charger hoping to see if Dina had texted her. Yesterday, after giving Dina her number, she had not gotten Dina’s in return. Ellie hoped she hadn’t made such a bad impression on the girl to the point where she would never receive a message.  After looking over her screen she noticed it was free of notifications. This brought a frown to her face and an uneasy twist to her stomach. Maybe Dina realized there was no point in making friends with a freshman, especially one who was socially awkward.</p><p> </p><p>The excitement she had felt had now turned to dread. Dina had said that maybe she should hang out with them again but that seemed like a slim possibility now. Ellie went back to her original plan of having lunch at the library moving forward. <em>This is for the better; I don’t fit in with a group of outgoing people anyways </em>she thought.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie spent the entire ride to school studying her school map and schedule, determined to figure out where all her classes where without having to look lost again. She didn’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone, especially Dina, if she were the one to find her again aimlessly walking through the halls.</p><p> </p><p>She made it to school with a few minutes to waste, opting to seat at the cafeteria before class started. The table she chose was along a wall of windows looking into the band hall. From here Ellie was able to spot Dina on the same table where they had lunch yesterday. She was surrounded by Jesse, Cat, and a few more students that she had not seen yesterday during lunch. Dina was talking animatedly, using her hands and sporting that beautiful smile. It made Ellie smile as well, even from here she felt like she was there as well, listening to what Dina had to say.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie watched her for a few minutes until the bell rang, signaling that it was time for everyone to make their way to class. She watched as the group of friends said their goodbyes, and each walked their own way.  Ellie also gathered her backpack, still watching Dina from the cafeteria; she saw how the beautiful girl took her phone out and seemed to be clicking away with a smile on her face. Suddenly she felt her phone vibrate inside her pocket. Curiously Ellie took her phone out, surprised to see a text message from an unknown number.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Message from:</em>
</p><p><em>Unknown: </em>Hey :)</p><p> </p><p>Butterflies immediately erupted in her stomach, but she fought to keep a smile from her face and to regain her composure. It was just one text after all, it didn’t mean anything. She typed a response quickly while make her way to class.</p><p> </p><p> <em>Ellie: </em>Hi, who is this?</p><p> </p><p>Ellie knew right away that this had to be Dina for two reasons: 1) she saw her typing away on her phone right before receiving the text. 2) Dina was the only person she had giving her number to in a while. She decided to play aloof for a bit; maybe it could make her seem less eager in a way. She didn’t want Dina to think that she had been expecting her text, hoping every other minute to look down at her phone to see the exact text she had received.</p><p> </p><p><em>Unknown: </em>r u serious? Do u make it a habit to give ur number away to everyone or did u forget about me already freckles?</p><p> </p><p><em>Ellie: </em>Lol how could I forget :)</p><p> </p><p><em>Dina:</em> do u know where ur classes r, or do u need me to give u a private tour ;)</p><p> </p><p><em>Ellie: </em>I figured them out already, but thank you for the offer</p><p> </p><p>Ellie didn’t know what else to say, she wanted to continue the conversation but wasn’t sure how to do so. She thought thanking her for yesterday would be a good way to go</p><p> </p><p><em>Ellie:</em> Thank you for being so helpful yesterday, made my first day easier.</p><p> </p><p><em>Dina:</em> No problem, do u want to join us for lunch again?</p><p> </p><p>Ellie wanted to say yes so badly but she remembered how difficult it was for her to talk to people she didn’t know. She didn’t want to join them while at the same time feel isolated. <em>You don’t belong with them</em> she thought.</p><p> </p><p><em>Ellie:</em> Thanks for the offer but I have stuff to do during lunch, maybe another time?</p><p> </p><p><em>Dina: </em>Gotcha, see u around school then</p><p> </p><p>She wasn't sure what to say so no response was returned and class was starting so she had to put her phone away anyways.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie felt bad that she had turned down the offer. As much as she wanted to say yes, she thought it would be better for her to not get attached so quickly to this girl. Even from the brief conversations they’ve had she could feel how nervous she got around Dina. Just the thought of her sent butterflies to her stomach and a blush to her face.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie had always felt more comfortable alone, even on her previous school she had just one friend and that’s how she liked it. She preferred to be isolated and to spend her time reading comics; it was much easier than spending energy going out and feeling out of place. She didn’t know how everyone else could go out to parties, start conversations and make friends without any second thoughts. It just wasn’t who she was.</p><p> </p><p>Classes passed by quickly and by the time lunch rolled around no other texts had been exchanged. Ellie itched to write something back, anything just to get the girl talking to her again but she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to be a burden so she would wait and hope that Dina would reach out to her again. Ellie was bad at making any sort of first move, always waiting for someone else to initiate conversation.</p><p> </p><p>She grabbed a quick lunch and made her way to the library as planned. She browsed the library looking for the comic book section until she found it. Thankfully it was towards the back of the library, hidden away by the other rows of books. After a few minutes she found her favorite series Savage Starlight. Even though she had already read most of the issues available she decided to start over with the first one again. Near the stacks of comics, towards the back wall there was an empty sofa <em>jackpot! </em> she thought.</p><p> </p><p> It seemed not a lot of people made it back here, opting to read closer to the front or spending time in the computer section of the library. She plopped down on the couch feeling like this was already her favorite spot in the school.</p><p> </p><p>Ellie found herself engrossed on the story all over again and was caught off guard when she heard the bell signaling that lunch was over and it was time to return to the dreaded classes. She returned the book, and gathered her stuff. When she walked out of the library and made a turn to find her next class she spotted Dina walking alongside Jesse across a small courtyard. A smile appeared on her face before she could help it. <em>Even if I can’t talk to her it is still nice seeing her. </em> Ellie couldn’t believe she had developed such a quick crush on the beautiful dark haired girl. She tried not to worry, telling herself that crushes were harmless especially if she kept her distance. Yup keeping her distance would definitely help to prevent the feelings to develop to anything stronger. <em>Just a silly crush on a pretty girl, that’s it.</em> <em>You haven’t even spoken to her that much, surely this feeling is only superficial.</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The following weeks went very much the same: Ellie dragged her feet to school and paid minimal attention to class, counting down the minutes where she could retreat to her little spot at the back of the library. She hadn't spoken to Dina since that second day, while she was a little disappointed she thought it was for the best. School work was picking up and she found herself thinking about Dina less and less and instead thinking about school work more. It was a good distraction to have. </p><p> </p><p>She would still find herself looking for the girl through the halls or in the courtyard if she made it to school early enough. It was nice to admire her from afar, often thinking about how different they were but at the same time appreciating those differences. It made her want to get to know her, to see what they had in common and what they didn't. She wanted to know her hobbies, what made her happy or what made her upset. Honestly she seemed like such a happy outgoing person that Ellie doubted anything would rile up the girl.</p><p> </p><p>It was Friday and today was no different from any other day, she made her way into the library paying no attention to the other students scattered around the big room. She found her couch empty as per usual and started to read Savage Starlight where she had left off the previous day.</p><p> </p><p>"So this is where you have been hiding out" Ellie looked up and locked eyes with Dina. Seeing the girl in front of her so unexpectedly made her almost choke with her own saliva.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, hi" Ellie was barely able to squeak out. Dina just offered her a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>"I didn't peg you for a nerd, specially one that hides on the comic book section" Dina said with an easy smile showing that she meant no insult to those words.</p><p> </p><p>"I guess I'm not as mysterious as you thought I was" Ellie said.</p><p> </p><p>"You still feel mysterious, I honestly thought you had moved or something! I hadn't seen you around school and you never texted me" Ellie felt a little guilty at that, she didn't realize that Dina had also been waiting on her to start a conversation even if it was through text.</p><p> </p><p>She thought being honest would be the best way to go "I'm sorry, I just didn't know how to start a conversation, I wasn't sure what to say." Dina just looked at her and nodded, it seemed more to herself, she walked closer to Ellie and sat down next to her on the couch. Before Dina had shown up, Ellie had been sitting in the middle of the couch, taking up as much space as she could on the two-seater couch. So when Dina came to sit down next to her, it left no space between them. Dina was wedged between the arm of the couch and Ellie, the green eyed girl decided to readjust to the other side of the couch to let Dina have some room instead of having their shoulders and thighs pressed together. Once Ellie moved away from the center she noticed Dina move a little closer to the middle but not as close as they had been.</p><p> </p><p>"What are you reading?" Dina asked, eyeing the comic book on Ellie's hands. Instead of answering she closed the book and showed the tile to Dina "Is it any good?"</p><p> </p><p>Ellie nodded "Yeah, I think so." A silence fell between them. Usually Ellie loved silence but at this moment she hated it, she wanted to continue talking to Dina, to hear her lovely voice. <em>Just think of a question, any question!</em>  "So, uh, what brings you here?"</p><p> </p><p>"I have a paper due for English class on Monday, I was working on it on the computer section when I saw you come in."</p><p> </p><p>"oh, cool. How is that going for you?". Ellie was still grasping at straws, not exactly knowing how to talk to a pretty girl. Small talk would have to do.</p><p> </p><p>"Almost done, but I should probably get back and finish it." Dina got up from her side of the couch and took a few steps away from Ellie. She quickly turned around and said "It was nice talking to you freckles." She gave Ellie a lopsided smile and headed back to her computer section.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of her lunch she found herself looking for excuses to get up from the couch, which hid her from plain view, and walk around some of the stacks in front of the computer section just to sneak quick glances at Dina. Whatever progress she thought she had made on bringing down this crush had now been completely undone by Dina.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of her day passed quickly and before she knew it the day was done and she was making her way to the front of the school to be picked up by Joel. She felt happy in some way, she thought it was maybe because it was the weekend and she had plans with Joel to go fishing. But if she really admitted it to herself it was because she had a chance to talk to Dina again after weeks. <em> I'm just happy to be making a friend, that's it. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ya'll can find me on tumblr @predictablekid if you want</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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